Paul: Something that I have often thought about is, after seeing some people who get so frustrated by what they refer to as their ‘own lack of motivation,’ how do past experiences drive internal motivation? I seem to see people that I look up to as having really hard experiences growing up and this makes them very hungry to push further and harder than their competition. I wonder if motivation is driven by external or internal factors? Past experiences, nature vs nurture... etc. What are your thoughts?
Dave: When I give my word to someone else it is easy to keep it but when I tell myself I’ll do something I’m far less reliable. What is the trick to being as honest with myself as I am with other people, or simply making decisions that stick?
Thank you, Paul and Dave, for these very insightful questions.
Paul – the short answer is I don’t really know how past experiences drive motivation. We humans are very complicated machines, and we’re all different. What motivates you is different to what motivates me.
To continue the metaphor, we are also machines that have been designed for a different purpose than modern life. We’ve evolved to survive in a savanna, not to thrive in the 21st century.
My advice is to see yourself as a flawed machine that wasn’t designed for the life you’re leading. So, hack yourself. Run experiments. Be curious about what works for you. (And be kind to yourself during the process.)
Which brings me to your question, Dave. Part of how we evolved to survive was by relying on and fitting in with our tribes. We’re tribal creatures, and we’re hardwired to fit in and to not let down our tribe.
A promise you make to someone else will always carry more weight than one you make to yourself. Rather than fight this, use it. If something is important, involve other people. Get a coach. Tell a buddy. Join a club.
