Lynne - Why do you think we think thoughts when we would like to be thoughtless in meditation?
Mike: I'd be interested in your take on extending mindfulness/meditation through a day that is heavy with transitions and transactions. It seems that the clarity, presence, and focus gained (sometimes fleetingly) in meditation practice erodes pretty quickly in the day.
Kirsten: I, too, am a meditator and in yet another training program (in addition to TLBS!) to become a meditation teacher. I see tremendous benefit from this practice and have tailored my approach to advise how it can help high performers. However, it is so often those most high achieving (and often, neurotic and highly anxious) folks who tell me that their minds are just too crazy or busy for meditation. Thanks, but no thanks. As if they are unique in this regard and everyone else (or at least meditator folks like me) are somehow slower-of-mind. What’s your response to people who say they can’t ever meditate? An addendum is how to respond to those hard drivers who think that meditation will cause them to lose their edge. I have a well-honed response to that, but wonder what you say.
Thanks Mike, Lynne, and Kirsten for these questions on one of my favourite subjects. I’m about to head to Spain for a six-week meditation retreat, so it seems a fitting time to answer these.
Lynne, I’m not sure why we think thoughts when we would rather be thoughtless. For me the purpose of meditation is not to be thoughtless, but to create some separation from those thoughts, from my mind.
So my job is then just to observe my mind. I think of it like going out and observing a road. Sometimes the road is busy, lots of cars and trucks and buses going by. Sometimes it’s quiet. Just the odd bicycle. Or nothing at all. But whether the road is busy or quiet has nothing to do with me. I’m just there to watch.
Mike, another way I think about meditation is like going to the gym. The muscle that I’m exercising is noticing when I’m not present, when my thoughts are off in the future or back in the past, or about anything other than right now. And then exercising the muscle to come back again to here and now. Every day when I sit and meditate with my eyes closed, I’m doing reps. My “coming-back” muscle gets stronger from every workout. And I get just that bit better during the rest of my day in noticing when I’m not present and coming back to this moment, even in a day that is hectic or challenging.
Finally, Kirsten I never try to convince people they should meditate. (And this applies not just to meditation but to selling pretty much anything). I’ll help people who have decided they want to meditate, but won’t waste energy trying to convince people that they should.
If you want to sell cars, sell them to people who want cars. Don’t try to convince those on bicycles that a car would be better. Likewise for coaching. Likewise for meditation.
PS – As I mentioned, I’m off to Spain next week for a six-week meditation retreat, so the Word from Pete will be on hold for a little while. When I return, all going well, I should be a fully-qualified meditation teacher, and ready to help those who want to learn. See you on the other side.
