I had a great conversation recently with my new friend Hannah who was concerned about the amount of work it would take to build a business. Specifically, if she could do the work and still be a good wife and a good mother.

There is part of this that I think is gendered. I’ve had versions of this conversation many times over the years, and it’s never been with a bloke saying I’m not sure I can do this and still be a good husband and a good father.

However, saying that it’s gendered, while possibly accurate, isn’t that useful.

I think what’s more useful is to ask what does your business need from you, what do your kids need from you, and what does your partner need from you.

Generally, the answer isn’t time. It’s not about hours. Your business needs your genius. Your mojo. Your insight. That doesn’t get measured in hours.

If I think about what my kids need from me, I think it’s love, attention, and connection. A little bit of focussed time giving that is more useful than hours in the same place but not necessarily together.

Hat tips to Lesley Klue for the idea of asking what your kids need from you. Kind of obvious in hindsight but deeply profound.