I’ve been thinking and writing a bit lately on how to get what you want in life and in business. But I think the trickiest place to do this is in relationships. It’s something that my wife Trish and I have been talking a lot about.

There are three things that I think help:

Be in relationship with people who are out to have you get what you want, and vice versa. It sounds obvious, but not everyone is. Move away from the people who aren’t.
Create an explicit agreement. Talk about it. Tell people that matter that you are on their side, you want them to get what they want, and you would like the same back.
Tell them what you want. Cleanly and explicitly. This is the big one. If someone is out to help you get what you want, do them a favour and tell them what it is. Thinking they should already know isn’t very helpful.

It’s so powerful in all domains of life to be able to ask for what you want.