Growing love isn't about being nice

I had a very interesting experience a few weeks ago. A friend of mine generously offered to do an integrity and values profile for me. (Thanks Lucy!) I logged onto a website and spent 20 minutes answering some multiple choice questions. Then I was off to meet Lucy and find out if I have any integrity and values.

Integrity is something that is very important to me, and most people in my life would describe me as a person of integrity ... and that's generally what the profile indicated.

However one score surprised me...

I got 6 out of 10 for telling the truth.

That doesn't mean that 40% of what comes out of my mouth is a lie (like that old joke ... "How do you know if a politician is lying? ... His lips are moving"). It reflects a tendency to be nice, or avoid confrontation, rather than saying how it really is for me (which isn't a great trait in a business coach!).

One example from last year was with a member of our team, who, by his own admission, was half hearted in his work. If I was completely honest I would have said that this wasn't OK with me (especially given we are Love Your Business!) and he needed to choose in or out. Instead I was nice. I was supportive. I avoided the confrontation, and the situation dragged on and on, affecting him, me and the business.

One of my themes for this year is telling the truth. Saying how it is. Not stepping over things and not avoiding difficult conversations - and I'm feeling much better for it ... So watch out!

Where in your life aren't you telling the truth? Either to yourself or others.