For the 25-odd years that I’ve been shaving, I’ve had this mild terror of uneven sideburns. I obsess about making sure that they match. If it looks like the left one is a bit higher, I’ll take a bit more off the right. And if I take off a bit too much, then I’ll go back to the left again. I reckon my tolerance is under half a millimetre. 

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time and energy getting them just right. 

Recently I was struck by something remarkable. 

I’ve never noticed anyone with uneven sideburns. Not once. Ever. In my whole life.